dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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