It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
There are leaves in my underwear?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
