I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable