sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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