I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
