Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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