He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
