I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
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He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
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I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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