So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
