Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize