you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
