Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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