PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
