I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
