Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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