And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Randomize
