he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
