therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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