Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
