By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
