It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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