Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
