My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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