I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
