I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
