I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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