I think my fart just growled at me.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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