smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
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