STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
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