ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
