i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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