just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
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i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
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Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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