i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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