You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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