After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
