dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
