What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
