News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize