WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
