He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
