Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Randomize
