Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Randomize
