He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
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She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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