Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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