told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
