$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
