New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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