Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
