This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
