so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
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