Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
