I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
