So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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