so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
