Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
