if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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