I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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