Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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