champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
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There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
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