So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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