Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
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