Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
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