you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
