She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Randomize
