I need help removing her.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
